Online
by greyvss
Summary: so what happens when you introduce the soul eater cast to the internet? two words. pure insanity! warning this fic may occasionally give its readers an over dose in randomness. enjoy!
1. start up

Death chat online

**WASSUP? I was really, really, really stuck on the stories that i'm currently working on. So I decided to let off a little steam by doing a quick online chat thing with the cast of soul eater! Plus I may include one of my oc's from time to time. In this story i'm placing myself in the soul eater universe too. Hope you all enjoy!**

**A.N.**

**This is in the same time frame as dwma's latest student.**

**Maka_chop: Maka**

**coolscythe: soul**

**blackblood: crona**

**!awesomestar!: black star**

**cblossom: tsubaki**

**reaper88: kid**

**thompsongunz: liz and patty**

**blackhart: me!**

**DEATHROCKS: lord death**

blackhart is online

blackhart: hello?

Coolscythe is online

blackhart: hey soul

coolscythe: hey

blackhart: I hear you accidently walked in on maka in the shower

Coolscythe: yeah I did

blackhart: so...how did she look man? Hot or not?

Coolscythe: man has she grown up! I can no longer call her tiny tits. Just an awesome figure man.

maka_chop is online

coolscythe: f#&$*!

maka_chop: what were you two talking about?

Coolscythe: dude don't!

Blackhart: oh just soul telling the online world how hot you look without clothes on.

maka_chop: …

coolscythe: w'ere both going to get maka chopped later aren't we?

maka_chop: how about now

maka_chop is offline

coolscythe: we're so dead

blackhart: come on how bad can it be- OH MY GOD PLEASE N-

blackhart has been disconnected

coolscythe: dude? Dude! Oh death.

Coolscythe is offline

blackblood is online

maka_chop is online

blackblood: hi

maka_chop: hey crona. Hang on. (souls blood curdling scream)

Blackblood: what was that?

maka_chop: what was what? ; )

blackblood: never mind

blackhart is online

blackhart: ugh, could someone give me the title of that book?

maka_chop: breaking dawn

blackhart: YOU ARE F#$&ING EVIL!

Maka_chop: ^.^

blackblood: even I would never do THAT to somebody.

maka_chop: he deserved it!

Blackblood: what'd he do? *reads previous posts*

blackblood: …

maka_chop: crona?

Blackblood: I'm going to go take a cold shower.

Blackhart: well I guess we know how wild the imagination can be. Especially crona's ;)

maka_chop: drop dead

blackhart: thanks, did that already, very, very boring.

maka_chop: …

maka_chop is offline

!awesomestar! is online

!awesomestar!: I am the amazing black star!

Blackhart: FOOL!

!awesomestar! is offline

blackhart is offline

**So that concludes my first online chat story. Please review and suggest any topics of conversation or funny moments for me to add in! So until next time everybody!**


	2. worlds colide

**WASSUP? Hey everybody, welcome back to death chat. So in this next chapter thing's get weird! Enjoy!**

**Maka_chop: Maka**

**coolscythe: soul**

**blackblood: crona**

**!awesomestar!: black star**

**cblossom: tsubaki**

**reaper88: kid**

**thompsongunz: liz and patty**

**blackhart: me!**

**DEATHROCKS: lord death**

**sadghost: jezebel**

**bladered: scythe**

coolscythe is online

reaper88 is online

reaper88: greetings soul

coolscythe: …

reaper88: what is it soul?

Coolscythe: it's maka, I haven't seen her all day!

Reaper88: hmm

blackhart is online

reaper88: hey

blackhart: what's going on?

Reaper88: maka's missing. no idea where she is. hasn't been seen all day

blackhart: hmm

maka_chop is online

maka_chop: hey... :)

coolscythe: hey maka where were you?

maka_chop: nowhere

blackhart: she was at Crona's. I'd bet my soul on it.

maka_chop: *blush* no I wasn't!

Blackhart: then why did you have that waaay over contented look when you logged on? Admit it! You and Crona are seeing each other! I'm willing to bet you and crona spent most of the day _together_.

maka_chop is offline

reaper88: either you're right and she's furious or...

blackhart: or they're now in the middle of round two

coolscythe: … *nosebleed*

coolscythe is offline

thompsongunz is online

thompsongunz: did we miss anything (liz)?

Blackhart: not much, just maka and crona dating

thompsongunz: WHAT!

reaper88: yeah maka is apparently seeing crona. Not that surprised really.

Thompsongunz: this is so cool (patty, obviously)! now all it needs is robot ninjas!

Reaper88: ?

Blackhart: ?

Thompsongunz: I can't remember what we were talking about (liz)

reaper88: me too

blackhart: yeah... so liz! I hear that you like fan fiction. Have you seen any of my stories?

Thompsongunz: yeah i'm actually reading your newest one right now?

Blackhart: wait... you're reading death chat online...while being in it? What the... but that makes no sense!

Reaper88: yeah so?

Blackhart: how can she be reading it if it isn't done yet!? It's a paradox!

Sadghost: h-hello...

Blackhart: jezebel?

Sadghost: y-yes...

blackhart: but... this isn't your story. Dang it liz you broke the universe! Again!

Sadghost: sorry... :(

blackhart: it's not your fault.

Sadghost: ok

thompsongunz: what do you mean "again"?

Blackhart: remember when you said that robert pattinson was the hottest actor ever?

Thompsongunz: yeah?

Blackhart: it started raining cats in china right when you said that.

Thompsongunz: O.O

thompsongunz: wow sis. You really do break the universe (patty, duh)!

Bladered: hey

blackhart: oh great!

maka_chop is online

maka_chop: who are these two and where did they come from?

Blackhart: these two are scythe and jezebel. Scythe's a weapon, jezebel's a meister. They go to the DWMA at the exact same time this story takes place.

Thompsongunz: didn't scythe beat me, patty and kid in a duel? Like first two chapters?

Blackhart: …yeah…

reaper88: wait he what?

Blackhart: bye!

Blackhart is offline

maka_chop: …

thompsongunz: …

reaper88: so I repeat, he what?!

Thompsongunz: here, read this

reaper88: *reads first two chapters* I am going to kill him.

Thompsongunz: Hey! Hey! Hey! It is just a story!

Reaper88: read chapters 6, 7

thompsongunz: *commences reading*

thompsongunz: …

thompsongunz is offline

maka_chop: you realize he's a goner, right?

Reaper88: yes I do ^.^

maka_chop: so... seen any new movies lately?

Reaper88: saw the hunger games.

maka_chop: OMD I love that movie!

Reaper88: … I hated it.

maka_chop: …

maka_chop is offline

reaper88: uh oh

reaper88 is offline

!awesomestar! is online

!awesomestar!: hello? Anybody here? Isn't there anybody to notice my amazingness!?

Legendsword: FOOL!

!awesomestar!: NOOOOO! not again!

!awesome star! is offline

**and that concludes this chapter of death chat online. Tune in next time to see even more hilarity! Please review or suffer listening to excalibur's five hour long back story! So anyway see ya!**


	3. what happens in death city

Death chat online 3

**Hey everybody, welcome back to death chat! So as usual expect hilarity and madness! Oh yeah I do not own soul eater. Enjoy**

**Maka_chop: Maka**

**coolscythe: soul**

**blackblood: crona**

**!awesomestar!: black star**

**cblossom: tsubaki**

**reaper88: kid**

**thompsongunz: liz and patty**

**blackhart: me!**

**DEATHROCKS: lord death**

cblossom is online

cblossom: hello? Is anybody there?

!awesomestar! Is online

cblossom: oh no...

!awesomestar!: hey Tsubaki!

Cblossom: hey black star... how are you?

!awesomestar!: i'm doing good, but it's pretty quiet with out you around anymore.

Cblossom: what are you trying to say?

!awesomestar!: well, what i'm trying to say is... I miss you.

Cblossom: and?

!awesomestar!: I feel like a complete jerk for what I did to you. I'm sorry.

Cblossom: …

cblossom: apology accepted.

!awesomestar!: YAHOO! er... I mean...thanks tsubaki...

cblossom: you're welcome :)

reaper88 is online

!awesomestar!: hiya kid!

Reaper88: …

cblossom: kid? Where are you? I can't even see you on the screen.

Reaper88: it's liz and patty...

cblossom: what about them?

Reaper88: they stole all of my clothes.

!awesomestar!: seriously?! Hahahahahahaha!

Cblossom: they couldn't have taken all of your clothes, you have to have something don't you?

Reaper88: yes I do but...

cblossom: how bad could it be?

Reaper88: _sigh_... fine *steps into view*

!awesomestar!: *gags*

cblossom: OMD excalibur boxers?! That is hilarious! XD

!awesomestar!: that is just wrong...

reaper88: and they're not even symmetrical! T_T

maka_chop is online

!awesomestar!: oh this ought to be good.

maka_chop: hey guy- why is kid only wearing boxers?

Reaper88 is offline

cblossom: liz and patty stole all his clothes.

maka_chop: oookkay…

maka_chop: so anything interesting?

Cblossom: black star FINALLY apologized.

maka_chop: men

cblossom: indeed.

!awesomestar!: oh jeez...

maka_chop: oh go on black star. Have a cry, you've never had your heart broken!

Cblossom: no instead you do the breaking

!awesomestar!: hey! I said I was sorry!

Blackhart is online

blackhart: wassup?

maka_chop: you really are an idiot black star

blackhart: *reads previous posts* okay ladies. Back off the boy, please?

!awesomestar!: boy?!

Blackhart: you got caught in a feminism storm. You're lucky they didn't decide to remove your manhood

!awesomestar!: …

maka_chop: well now that you mention it...

!awesomestar! is offline and currently in cuba

blackhart: wow, dude moves fast

cblossom: you should have seen how fast he was when we were dating

maka_chop: …

blackhart: i'm not going anywhere near that comment

maka_chop: good idea

thompsongunz is online

blackhart: if it isn't the infamous clothing thieves

thompsongunz: you heard about that (liz)?

Cblossom: and saw it

blackhart: and excalibur boxers, really?

Thompsongunz: ^.^ (patty)

blackhart: you two are evil

thompsongunz: oh we're evil? What about you mister kills peoples mothers in front of them!

maka_chop: what

blackhart: it's not how it sounds. One character in my story had their mother die in front of them okay?

maka_chop: …

cblossom: you are disturbed.

Blackhart: thanks I know that

maka_chop: what is wrong with you?

Thompsongunz: guys! Lets talk about something else okay?

maka_chop: okay

blackhart: so liz I hear you and kid have been dating recently

thompsongunz is offline

blackhart: i'll take that as a yes. Bye now got to get back to my stories.

Blackhart is offline

cblossom: so I guess we're the only ones left huh?

maka_chop: yeah

cblossom: want to play strip poker?

maka_chop is offline

cblossom: aw

!awesomestar! is online

!awesomestar!: did someone say strip poker.

Cblossom: um... look it's excalibur!

!awesomestar!: yeah right like i'm falling for that

cblossom: it was worth a shot

!awesomestar!: so... strip poker?

Cblossom: only if we have another player

blackblood is online

!awesomestar!: hey crona! How do you feel playing strip poker?

Blackblood: *blush* I um uh

maka_chop is online

!awesomestar!: oh crap

maka_chop: what are you doing to crona?

!awesomestar!: I just asked him if he wanted to play strip poker with us

cblossom: please don't get mad at black star it was my-

maka_chop: I want in

blackblood: what o.O

!awesomestar!: you feeling okay maka?

maka_chop: yeah, i'm just bored.

Cblossom: ooookkkaay... lets just get on with the game.

Blackblood: count me in too

!awesomestar!: so who's dealing first

blackblood: I will *vegas style shuffle*

maka_chop: o.o

!awesomestar!: o.o

cblossom: f %#

_30 minutes later_

cblossom: *topless* okay, okay I give up before i'm down to nothing but underwear.

!awesomestar!: *comando* man my apartment's is cold! I'm getting a draft here

maka_chop: *down to her underwear* how did you learn to play like that?

Crona: living with Ragnarok has it's advantages

coolscythe is online

maka_chop: oh no

coolscythe: hey guys what- *see's girls*

coolscythe: … *nosebleed*

coolscythe is offline

maka_chop: *blush* I can't believe that just happened!

!awesomestar!: talk about timing!

Blackblood: that was easy

maka_chop: that's it! Round two. Now!

_15 minutes later_

blackblood: *down to boxers* whoa

cblossom: *down to undies* I can't believe this!

!awesomstar!: *birthday suit*

maka_chop: that's what you get for challenging me!

Blackhart is online

blackhart: alright guys i- ARGH! My eyes! Blackstar pants! Dow, man!

Cblossom: man the timing is just epic

blackhart: how do you even get a star tattoo there?

!awesomestar!: you really want to know?

Blackhart: … wait, nevermind. What is going on here?!

maka_chop: strip poker

blackhart: … i'm just going to go and gouge my eyes out now

blackhart is offline

!awesomestar!: round three!

Blackblood: you're on!

_5 minutes later_

maka_chop: *once again underwear* not again!

cblossom: *no shirt* I think I better stop playing

!awesomestar!: *streaker* why do I keep losing?!

blackblood: 2 out of 3. I win.

maka_chop: *grumble*

blackblood: see you later ;)

maka_chop: see ya x

blackblood is offline

maka_chop is offline

cblossom: she's heading to crona's isn't she?

!awesomestar!: probably

cblossom: man that was weird, the only thing that could make this weirder is if-

legendsword: fools!

cblossom: _oh god..._

legendsword: my legend began in the twelfth century. i believe it was on a Tuesday or was it a Wednesday?...

Cblossom and !awesomstar!: NOOO!

Cblossom is offline

!awesomestar! is offline

system error

legendsword = blackhart: ahahahaha! Man I never get tired oh that!

**And that's a wrap! For this chapter anyway, hope you all liked it. So tune in next time for more hilarity, insanity and downright soul eaterness. Bye.**


	4. we're baaack!

Death chat online

**welcome back everybody! Sorry for this being off the air for a while but hey, it's back now! I have proven that I am smarter than the buzzkills who tried to shut down my story. I have the power!**

… **wow was that an ego-centric moment!**

**Anyway I hope you all enjoy more insanity, and hilarity! I do not own soul eater, so don't think I do or I will devour your soul! Enjoy!**

**Maka_chop: Maka**

**coolscythe: soul**

**blackblood: crona**

**!awesomestar!: black star**

**cblossom: tsubaki**

**reaper88: kid**

**thompsongunz: liz and patty**

**blackhart: me!**

**DEATHROCKS: lord death**

**sadghost: jezebel**

**bladered: scythe**

coolscythe is online

blackhart is online

coolscythe: hey dude

blackhart: hey

coolscythe: how long has it been since any of us last talked?

Blackhart: 2 months, give or take several days, I didn't keep very good track. So anyway, soul, how are things going with jacqueline?

Coolscythe: oh you know man. Things have been going great!

Blackhart: hear the anniversary is coming up

coolscythe: yeah

blackhart: god how many years has it been since you two tied the knot?

Coolscythe: seven years...

blackhart: wow...

maka_chop is online

maka_chop: happy anniversary soul!

Blackhart: wait your anniversary is today?!

Coolscythe: f$&%

coolscythe is off line and frantically trying to find a gift

maka_chop: he forgot his own anniversary? *eye twitch*

blackhart: seems like it

maka_chop: i'm going to maka chop him later

blackhart: hey! cut him some slack, he is male after all. We guys do occasionally make really bone headed moves.

maka_chop: like you getting your self reported?

Blackhart: how the hell did you know about that?

maka_chop: I heard about it, you pissed off one of those roving security people and got your fic deleted.

Blackhart: shut up...

maka_chop: MAKA CHOP!

Blackhart: *bleeding on ground* how do you do that?

maka_chop: resources...

blackhart: oh yeah we can play that game. *types something fast*

maka_chop: I am an idiot.

maka_chop: what the?

Blackhart: *keeps typing*

maka_chop: I love it when crona kisses me right on the neck... and... everywhere else.

maka_chop: *blushes like crazy* what the hell is going on?!

Blackhart: just proving that I have more tricks up my sleeve than you. I am the writer of this fic after all.

maka_chop: *glare*

!awesomestar! is online

!awesomestar!: hiya guys!

maka_chop: greyv, don't-

blackhart: *type*

maka_chop: I love you blackstar!

!awesomestar!: what the

blackhart: hahaha! Oh that was perfect!

maka_chop: I am so getting you for this!

Blackhart: oh really? *holds fingers over the key board*

maka_chop: don't. You. Dare!

Blackhart: *type*

maka_chop: *moans* oh croonnnaaaa!

!awesomestar!: *deer in headlights*

maka_chop: *blush even more* I can't believe you did that to me!

!awesomestar!: yeah if you're gonna do it, make sure crona's here to see it!

Blackhart: …

maka_chop: …

blackhart: *type*

!awesomestar!: *duck taped to a tree* hey what are you- *gagged*

maka_chop: thank you

blackhart: you're welcome

thompsongunz is online

thompsongunz: hey guy- why is black star duck taped to a tree?

Blackhart: because I wrote that he got duck taped to a tree

thompsongunz: huh?

Blackhart: I am the writer of this story, so I can cause things to happen whenever I feel like it.

Thompsongunz: but wait, you're writing this story...from within it?

Blackhart: yes...

thompsongunz: isn't that another paradox?

Sadghost: *crying*

blackhart: jezebel? Jezebel what's wrong?

Sadghost: *whispers into ear*

blackhart: excuse me for one moment

blackhart is off line and in his other story, kicking scythes ass.

maka_chop: hey it's okay... just tell me what happened

sadghost: it's scythe, he-he-

sadghost is offline and crying in a corner

thompsongunz: poor girl

maka_chop: yeah... men can be such jerks!

Blackhart is online

blackhart: okay, I think I figured out the issue. However since I never give spoilers to future events i'm going to whisper it to only you guys. K?

maka_chop: fine by me

thompsongunz: go for it

blackhart: *whispers*

maka_chop: … you are a sad strange little man.

Thompsongunz: you just infringed on a copy right maka. And also that one piece is just plain fluffy. Not very but still

maka_chop: I can't believe that scythe would-

blackhart: ah! Ah! Ah! No spoilers!

maka_chop: but he-

blackhart: zip it!

maka_chop: but how could he?

Blackhart: no!

Thompsongunz: things are going to get crazy in that story!

Blackhart: AAARRGH! I said no spoilers!

Thompsongunz: oh come on!

Blackhart: no, if they want to find out more about scythes involvement with witches their going to have to read the story themselves

maka_chop: that was easier than we thought

blackhart: what was?

Thompsongunz: read what you just said

blackhart: *reads previous post* f#%$! D$#% you and you're trickery!

maka_chop: ^.^ sorry couldn't keep such a thing to ourselves.

Blackhart: *holds fingers over keyboard* don't tempt me.

maka_chop: eep!

maka_chop is offline

thompsongunz: why did she run?

Blackhart: read what I made her do previously

thompsongunz: *reads*

thompsongunz: …

thompsongunz is offline, you sir are f $#ed

blackhart: oh crap... WAIT LIZ PLEASE N-

blackhart has been beaten to death with his own keyboard

thompsongunz is online

reaper88 is online

reaper88: what did I miss?

Thompsongunz: not much, soul forgot his anniversary, scythe made jezebel cry, and I killed greyv.

Reaper88: wait, you killed the author of this fic?

Thompsongunz: yeah...

reaper88: then how is this still going? Who's writing it?

Thompsongunz: what do you mean?

Reaper88: in order for this story to be written it needs an author. So if you just killed him than that means the story should end

thompsongunz: oh come on that's completely rid-


	5. death metal and exploding heads

Death chat online 5

**WASSUP?! Welcome back every body!**

**Liz: didn't I kill you?**

**Sorry, but I AM INVINCIBLE! now then back to the story everybody. Oh yeah I do not own soul eater, enjoy!**

**Maka_chop: Maka**

**coolscythe: soul**

**blackblood: crona**

**!awesomestar!: black star**

**cblossom: tsubaki**

**reaper88: kid**

**thompsongunz: liz and patty**

**blackhart: me!**

**DEATHROCKS: lord death**

blackhart is online

maka_chop is online

maka_chop: hey greyv.

Blackhart: hey maka

maka_chop: so what's going on?

Blackhart: you mean other than liz trying to beat me to death with my own keyboard?

maka_chop: wait she what?

Blackhart: yeah she beat me to death with my own keyboard. But since if I die the story ends, I actually didn't die.

maka_chop: … *head explodes*

blackhart: oh great... I blew up another one!

!awesomestar! is online

maka_chop: not him again!

!awesomestar!: hiya guys!

Blackhart: what are you doing here?

!awesomestar!: have you guys seen tsubaki?

Blackhart: have you checked her room?

!awesomestar!: yeah, i've looked everywhere for her and I can't find her!

Blackhart: one moment *type*

cblossom is online

cblossom: who the $#&$! pulled me out of my death metal concert?!

!awesomestar!: O.O

blackhart: O.O

maka_chop: …wow…just wow…

cblossom: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Blackhart: okaybackyougo! *type*

cblossom is offline and rocking out!

!awesomestar!: that…was weird…

blackhart: you're telling me, and I just wrote it!

maka_chop: what just happened?

Blackhart: we found out Tsubaki is a sweet wall flower by day, and a major death metal rocker by night.

!awesomestar!: and i'm dating her...

!awesomestar! is offline

maka_chop: he's with tsubaki right now isn't he?

Blackhart: i'm going to say...yes. Hey wait a minute! Didn't your head explode?

maka_chop: yeah...?

blackhart: so how are you here right now?

maka_chop: wait wh-

maka_chop is offline

DEATHROCKS is online

DEATHROCKS: oh how do work thi

oh no I pressed the wrong thin- *nuclear missile launch*

NO I didn't mean that! *cancels missile*

blackhart: lord death?

DEATHROCKS: okay, I think I got the hang of i- !EAT AT JOES!

How do you even do that?

Blackhart: you tell me. So how are scythe and jezebel doing in scool?

DEATHROCKS: they're doing fine...

blackhart: but...?

DEATHROCKS: thing's have been happening recently, I mean this one item is-

blackhart: no spoilers!

DEATHROCKS: …huh?

Blackhart: you were about to give a spoiler to my other story, so no! No spoilers!

DEATHROCKS: okay...

blackhart: so how's kid doing?

DEATHROCKS: kid's doing great! Ever since he made liz and patty into death scythes things have been going great.

Blackhart: umm...lord death, is there something burning over there?

DEATHROCKS: OMD MY SPINACH PUFFS!

DEATHROCKS is offline and running to the kitchen

blackhart: okay…a little emperors new groove over there…

blackhart: hmm, bored now

blackhart is offline and torturing politicians stein style!

Reaper88 is online

blackblood is online

reaper88: hello crona

blackblood: hey, have you seen maka?

Reaper88: *reads previous posts* i'm sorry crona, but I think maka exploded.

Blackblood: …

reaper88: crona?

Blackblood: who did it?

Reaper88: I think greyv but-

blackblood is offline

blackhart is online

blackhart: what's going on?

Reaper88: run. Now.

Blackhart: why- OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN (crona: you blew up maka!)

blackhart: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! *type*

maka_chop is online

maka_chop: crona?

Blackhart: (crona: *stops strangling* maka?)

blackhart is offline and unconscious from lack of oxygen.

maka_chop: crona what are you-

maka_chop is offline and...yeah you can probably guess

reaper88: what in the hell is this? Next thing I know some random creep is going to come on here.

Fatcat: hi i'm Drew Carey

reaper88: AAUGH!

Reaper88 is offline and burning his computer

**Aaannd cut! That's it for this chapter. Sorry it was so short, but hey, what are you gonna do? So tune in next time for more hilarity, chaos, and just plain soul eater! Buh bye now!**


End file.
